A horse | It's true name | And a sea monster.
Today we had to get moving sort of early so we'd be ready for our last pre-booked tour. Today's tour involves riding horses through lava fields. I guess I should specify not red hot lava, which would involve a certain element of barbeque horse danger, but solidified black lava. The kind of landscape best described as lunar. From the onset Dawn has been very enthusiastic about getting to ride horses, I have been less so.
Every time we pass a field with horses in it tour guides feel obliged to share with us the following information about Icelandic horses. Horses are not native to Iceland and were brought over about 1000 years ago. Over the centuries they have been intelligently designed to become short, strong, sure footed steeds (the environment pretty much demands it). At some point Iceland decided to ban the importation of lots of animals, horses included, so the
only type of horse on Iceland is the Icelandic horse. They export their horses to other countries, but if a horse leaves Iceland for any reason (such as to attend an international competition) it can never return.
With obvious pride the tour guide will then proceed tell you that the Icelandic horse is prized the world over for its fifth gate. Evidently most horses only have four gates, but the Icelandic horse has developed a fifth one. I'll be honest and admit to having very limited equestrian knowledge. From context I have equated horse gates to gears or modes. Without fail the tour guide will mention every time the reason the fifth gate is so amazing is that you can ride in the fifth gate gear and not spill your beverage. So I naturally assume that the Icelandic horse is some sort of luxury horse, a cut above if you will, because the standard description seems to indicate that there will be drinking and riding.
You can imagine how disappointed I was when I was assigned a horse and there was no cup holder or mention of what beverages we'd be consuming while riding. My mental image of viking helmet, smoking jacket, and a kind of meandering bar seems to have been out of step with the reality of the situation.
While waiting at the ranch to ride the horses I pepper Dawn with questions about horses since I've decided she's my horse expert. They mostly follow the pattern of "is it true of Icelandic horses that ..." where I make up some ridiculous fact. I must of made up about 50 of them. I wish I had written them down, because some of them were pretty funny. The only ones I can remember now are:
"that they can only climb up stairs and down poles."
"that they can not be burnt by hot lava but are burnt by the sun."
The guide told me the name of my horse. I'm sure it's a fine and distinguished name, but with the accent all I got was "Atticus Roudy." Atticus is a horse who knows his job. He practically lead me over to where I would be climbing up into the saddle. I climbed up without incident and he immediately started to get in line with the other horses. I was pleased to be on such confident hooves.
This is the first time I've ever been on a horse. It was an strange experience. It took me a while to find my balance and get use to the motion of walking with two extra legs. We rode along at a relaxed pace for awhile and I eventually settled in enough to divorce some of my attention from not falling off the horse to actually enjoy the lava field scenery. Then our guide decided it was time we picked up the pace a bit and tap into our 1 horsepower of power.
It was at the point that Atticus whispered to me that Atticus was not his real name. He explained that all horses have a
true name that they refer to themselves by. Atticus was a human name he wore for convenience, but his true equestrian name was Testikill Splattermore the Third. As he increased the pace from a relax walked to whatever second gear on a horse is I instantly learned the truth of this true name. I won't lie to you.
It was not pleasant.
After a while we slowed back down and I took inventory of the damage. I made a mental calculation for how long the ride was suppose to be and how long we had already ridden that resulted in an grimace.
For the rest of the ride every so often the guide would decide to subject us to about 90 seconds of groin punishing sprints. One of the guides rode up to me and explained that if I wanted to go faster I could kick my heals into the side of the horse to spur him on. All I heard was "if you jab the horse with your heals he'll slap you in the balls, won't that be fun!" I don't know what I did to the guide or why she had it in for my gonads, but I declined her invitation as much as I possibly could.
After a morning of horse riding we returned to the hotel, found a bit of lunch and whiled away the afternoon on the streets of Reykjavik. We returned to the
tapas restaurant for our reservation at 7:00 pm. The waitress who took our name and time and walked away the night before had been good to her word and we surprisingly had a reservation tonight. Which was fortunate because this place is very popular and filled in quickly. It's also fortunate that we didn't get in last night because we weren't all the hungry and the menu would have given us fits of indecision on how to spend what little appetite we had.
Tonight on the other-hand we came prepared and hungry and the menu made for tantalizing reading.
We each decided to go for a set menu. I got the Icelandic Delicacy menu and Dawn got the Hunter Menu. How cool is it that I got Spanish tapas with a Icelandic twist? I'm almost embarrassed to say that I had trepidation that Iceland was not going to feed us well. Order lamb or fish and you'll be well satisfied. Both menus were well executed. Dawn's came with deep fried lobster and mine came with baked lobster and we decided the deep fried lobster was the hand-down winner. My menu also came with monkfish. It may be sacrilege to say, but I find monkfish to be superior to lobster is just about every way. This occasion did not change my mind. (You may not want to click on this link if you've never tried
monkfish and wish to in the future. I'm sure glad its called monkfish instead of scary-ass monster fish, because I think monkfish is a more appetizing name.)
We found a statue near the tapas restaurant that I call "The Horse Rider"